What do YOU want?

For those of you "following" my #DivaChronicles & well for those that have no choice because is on your newsfeed anyway ((I know, ...your welcome 👏👌...☝️hang in there..😂😂))).

My heart STOPPED when I got notification that all of my grading was complete...

History final exam 100% and research Paper ((which I got about a total of 20 gray hairs Yo'!) 
From 400 points I got a Whooping 390!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! 

There was so much crying Involved these past weeks, because I was tired.

 In occasions, I Wanted to pull my hair and had many sleepless nights but it was worth it!

Now, a little story about my history class and why it was so important for me to excel on it.

In the begginning of this class (1st week) there were a few things going on (( emotional most)) and that first week it was so hard,  trying to get the transition down. I had almost an anxiety attack before and during the exam and you know what?.... I flunked that test.. Like a 55 (F) to be more specific. 

The FIRST "F" in my life. 

I wanted to quit and I even told myself :" Well, I can't be too hard on myself because I am doing a lot, so as long as I get a C and pass this class, I'm good.." 

Then, my spirit convicted me, because here I was, God had given me the opportunity to go back to school and I am settling because of a little "hiccup.."
So u know what I did??!  I studied harder, I rearrange my schedule a bit, I had sleepless nights, drank coffee, cried, drank more coffee, had to say no to some fun outings with friends. In occasions I had to call my mom so she could calm me down. . She would prayed over me whenever she remember and I prayed a lot too! And from a D starting on this class I got an A... I was determined to get myself back out there.

And it made me think that often in life we do this same thing to ourselves, LIKE... Mostly ALL . THE.TIME. We fail and then back out and don't try harder, we pat ourselves on the back, say "At, least I tries".. And go and settle for that and we dare not try again. 

So yes!!!! You see an  A.. Oh Yay for me,  That's awesome.. Blah blah blah right?? But reality is ... Nope, I'm
Not lucky or "gifted" and NOPE this is not a breeze. We all have what it takes... IT SUCKS at times, it is stressful, but you just gotta keep pushing! 

And you know,  I'm glad for my F because it positioned my heart and gave me a clear vision for where I wanted to take myself!

My Pastor @coylindsey  Said: "Knowing what you want can change where you will end up" -Coy Lindsey

When we truly KNOW what we Want we can MAKE IT hAppen!!!
...

So for you, I share my Pastor's words:" What do YOU Want?!.... Name IT... Describe it... Believe that you have what it takes....seek a plan of attack...& NEVER GIVE UP"

Never give up Yo'! 

Now, onto my next 2 classes ....

#HonorsRoll #HereICome 
#SEU #SeuStudent #SouthEasternUniversity 
#CommunicationsStudent 

"In YOU I Find REST"

💕💕 She is a single mom, a daughter, a survivor, a missionary, a full time student and has a demanding career!
She loves God and people with passion, she wishes to be a Journalist one day! 
Sometimes she calls her mom in the middle of the night crying because she wishes the heart will stop hurting from time to time. 
She questions herself and life situations, but still finds the strength to smile often. 
There are days when she is exhausted and does not want to keep "pushing", but in the midst of that she keeps SHOWING UP! 

Her heart wonders if she'll ever find a true companion in life.
From time to time she loses hope that there is a man out there that will honor her heart as God intended, BUT she KEEPS Believing His promises.
Often times she is referred as the "one with the curly hair", or "Ms. Diva", or "Superwoman". 
But truth is, she is as fragile as everyone else, she is KNOWN by God, she has no super powers, she is LOVED. 

The character behind this story is Me. 
I have many stories..... A compilation of Failures and Victories. 
BUT this particular story is the one I am carrying in my heart today! 

I still smile, I still crumble daily, I still hurt from time to time, I still wonder, I am still trying to figure it out. 💕

But I stand strong, because of God, because of Community, because of the mentors and pastors that God surrounds me daily.

Thank you to the people who invest and value my story, to "The Church Community in Lakeland", to my Pastor and the Somos Family for the Godly inspiration you are bringing into my life.  
💕💕-M.Matta

#SomosChurch #SomosFamily #EmbraceYourStory 
#CantWaitForSaturday

📷 credit: Melissa Riesenberg
📷 edit : M.Matta

Do you really BELIEVE?......

.... This past weekend and the beginning of this week were very hard and tiring for me. A lot of transitions in different areas of my life happening all at the same time.

But today it was a highlight for me... God gave me a little "nudge"... That "umph", that I so desperately needed... That little whisper of... 

"Daughter, I got you, keep moving your steps towards my guidance. You don't need to know all the details of the place I am taking you.. Trust me!"... 

Those were some Sweet words I felt in my spirit that reenergized me! ((Hence the fact, that I have only had about 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 days)) 😏😉

Today, was the first official student meeting, for new students and returning students from the CAM (College of Arts and Media) part of the SEU! And as I was walking down to find the building, I could not believe that it was ACTUALLY happening. 

I thought about the VERY first time I set foot on that campus. It was 4 years ago, I had only been in Florida for about 2 months. I was taking one of my cousins for her new student orientation (Yari) and I remembered CLEARLY when I told myself, and felt in my heart that I was one day coming back as a student myself.
I didn't know, how or when, BUT I BELIEVED. And TODAY, I had to fight my tears walking down towards the building.  

Do you know that almost 6 years ago, when I recently went through my separation, a person whom I used to admire back then, came to my house in California, sat across from me at my dinner table and told me all the statistics of how a single mother has NO way of "Making it" and so I was much better off staying in a destructive and toxic marriage??! 

Yes! It happened, but you know... As BROKEN as I was back then.... I BELIEVED that God was BIGGER.... I BELIEVED that life was not intended to be like it was.... I BELIEVED that God has NO LIMITATIONS.

It says in His word: 
""For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD. "plans to PROSPER you and not harm you, plans to give HOPE and a FUTURE."
~Jeremiah 29:11~ 

...... Plans to Prosper, to Give Hope and a FUTURE.. YES!!!!!  a Future... 

Every .....single .......step I have taken in the last 6 years whether it has caused me pain, disappointment, discomfort, sorrow, happiness, tears, laugh or joy..... It has simply been a Confirmation of His word in my life.

Today, He opened a little tiny small window of the plans He has for the future.., a little glance of the opportunities ahead He has for me. Today, He REVEALED to me that the place He Brought me THROUGH, does NOT compare for what He has in store for me. And I felt my heart missing a couple of beats from the excitement!!!!!! 

From many creative writing opportunities, exploring broadcasting, photojournalism, STUDY ABROAD trips!!!!! Filming festivals... Etc.... It amazes me to see that when you wait in the LORD, He places you exactly where you need to be at the RIGHT TIME! 

And my question to you today is not going to be whether you are Believing or not.... 
My question to you today is 

In what MAGNITUDE are you BELIEVING in Him? Are you limiting yourself? Are you letting others influence you into setting limitations to God?

...... I pray today that you Believe He will PROSPER YOU, no matter the circumstances you are in, I pray that you Believe He is the ONLY..... And I repeat THE ONLY giving source of Hope in your LIFE, and I pray that you believe in the BIG FUTURE He has planned for you!!!!! And it is my hope that your receive His Word!!! 
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 

"People may mock you for you faith, it's not because you are doing something wrong. Don't be discouraged. God has counted you worthy of the Calling. God call us to do certain things. Stay in the faith. WALK worthy of your Calling. 👠👠"

#DivaSlamminTheMic 🎤🎤

#SEUFire #SEUCAM #SEUStudyAbroad #Calling #Worthy #PlanstoProsper #HopeAndAFuture 
#SingleMom #DivaCollegeChronicles 
#BroadcastingComingSoon #MediaAndDesign 🎬📚📖🎥🎤🎶💻💗💗💗🙏🙏🙏

Heartbroken... But His TRUTH remains Spoken!!

...... LOrd, let me be reminded everyday that "Your Word is a lamp upon my feet and a Light unto my path"-Psalm 119:105

Last night, I got a RESOUNDED "NO" directly from God. From a situation that tied up someone in my life that I have grown to care about for the past year in a more close, deeply level. And well, Of course, sometimes we do prayers based on what We want,. Even though we know ultimately if we are following God's plan we will not always get what we think we want. Because He is eternal, He can see beyond the surface. 

And as I received and was reading a message from this someone I care very deeply, I heard God's "No". It was so loud and clear that I felt as if I Got Punched in my heart, I felt my whole spirit crumbled before me and I felt a big punch in my stomach as I kept reading the message and it left me out of breath. 

You know, I think I can count the times when I have had this feeling, not many BUT they have marked me as a person and mainly as a woman, and this one right here has been added along with the few. And as I stood there without been able to control my tears, I felt God taken the "veil" I created for myself in this particular situation and I let Him enter me into REALITY, His reality.

 Things that I was not willing to see before,  He was trying to show me. And for the first time in my life as a Believer this "No " didn't made me dissapointed in God. ..... Did it hurt?... Yes!.... Am I still a little out of breath by the disappointment of this small, but significant situation?.... Absolutely! 

You see, I asked Him (months ago), well it was more like a "cry out to Him, I prayed specifically for the answer I told Him what I wanted to happen, but I also boldly said that I will accept His will if it was not accordingly with what He wanted for me,  I told Him SLAMMED THE DOOR then. And He did. 

I was so committed to listen to God's voice this time, that I actually wrote it down on my daily devotional Life Journal Prayer list dated and  It's right there printed, and today as tears were rolling down my face, I wrote the date that this particular  prayer was answered. I accepted your answer Lord,  I am committed to wait on Your time, not mine.  

I think is amazing how the closest sometimes we can feel God in our lives is by the sound of His NO. 

I know God cares about me deeply and I just gotta keep believing. 

I'm praying for my heart and spirit to remain FOCUSED in only the things God has ordained me to do.

I pray for not only His continual Discernment within me but for the COURAGE to follow through and act upon it. I pray self-control within me is guided Only by His Spirit.

And if u read this and feel this in your heart too! 

I pray for you out there to continue to be strong and in faith, I want to remind you that "man/woman" is guarantee that sometimes will fail you.. You probably will fail someone too, but to be prepared with your mind Grounded in Him and to have a clear Focused mind on the things you are destined to do to become the person you are called to be... Because when the occasional disappointment arrives in your life for whatever the situation, you can still (even though broken) STAND on that strong foundation you have built in HIM.
Let God be your pilar, no HUMAN can replace that.. No human is strong enough to sustain you. Only God can keep holding u up! 
Lord, let us not be foolish into thinking that people can fill the voids in our lives!
I thank you for this truth today Lord! I thank you for the people you bring into my life and for the people you remove to protect and guard my heart! Thank you Jesus! 

I'm #heartbroken but #HisTruthRemainsSpoken in my heart! 

#NotDroppingBUTSlaminTheMic 🎤🎤

 #Journaling #pourYourHeartOut #DivaOnTheLoose💕🙏🙏🙏📚📝#

BREATH LIFE TO YOURSELF....STOP TO ACKNOWLEDGE....DEAL WITH YOUR PAIN.... UNVEIL YOUR BEAUTY

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨💫💫💫💫 

"Breath LIFE into one another, without forgetting to BREATH LIFE INTO YOUR OWN. Sometimes the simple fact of acknowledging that you are important enough to STOP everything else to deal with your PAIN will bring LIGHT and WISDOM to better decisions in your future so that you may gain the confidence needed to unveil your own BEAUTY to the World.

Be Relentless, Fearless and Dare to change your life. 

You want crazy ridiculous miracle results in your life, then be Prepared to make crazy Ridiculous changes in the steps required to get There" -BOoM! -MM

~~Excerpt from my own words written to myself from my Journal entry on Feb 26- 2016...Marisabel Matta

Yes.... Sometimes it is necessary to write yourself words and encourage yourself on paper so that you can look back in moments when you need to be reminded. ;-) 

#WhatsYourSuperPower ha! 

I LIFT up every single eye reading this message in Prayer. May the Lord Bring Out all that Pain inside of you very STUFFED and SUPPRESSED from the deepest parts of your heart. May He expose all of it to you so that you get an opportunity to face it, to give you an opportunity to break, to hurt. May You trust Him to expose you in Love and May you let go and allow Him to embrace you, so that you May experience the FREEDOM in His Love and the SHALOM PEACE Only He can provide to your life.

I'm breathing life into you tonight friends with the same FIRE AND PASSION that God Breath Life into my own!!

I'm always here if you need prayer, support or a friend! 

As always, 

Much LOVE,

Diva on the Loose! ✌️😎

#Besos 

#BlogPost #OnFire

DARE TO BE VULNERABLE

"I am learning that the key to life is not about how to be closed and numb while expecting the emotional benefits of being open, but learning how to become a healer of ones own soul in order to TRUST that you are safe within your openness:)" -- Jada Smith-

God can always offer us wisdom, can strengthen our soul to be able to exercise trust to be open. We will learn about boundaries and sometimes we'll get hurt while exploring our individual boundaries, but the experience and the joy of the lessons you learn about life comes with it.

"Daring Greatly means the courage to BE VULNERABLE. It means to show Up and be seen. To ASK for what you NEED. To talk about how you're feeling. To have the HARD conversations. "

Sometimes the heart gets weary, fatigue or tight, but having the wisdom to find the little "nuggets" in between the heartache we experience while being vulnerable are imperative. They are gifts and blessings into our own life when we can find the hidden lessons, in between the hurt, challenges, brokenness. We can learn from one another even if sometimes we must choose to part, to let go. 

i have LEARN to live my LIFE without being afraid that sometimes I might be the one that LOVES the most. ☺️✌️😎💤💤💤💤💓💞

Embrace Your Story

I'm up bright and super early today.

I am writing a personal Biographical Essay to be submitted for review along with a package for acceptance to a very great College I am applying to.... 

Finally man!...... 

After having to put my school on hold to take care of other priorities, I am able to take myself to College Yo'! 

This particular university has the perfect Curriculum and program that I have been wanting.

And as I sit here trying to have the prefect words to write, it dawned on me that the there is nothing I need to dig in to write or to impress. 

I have a very Imperfect story that does not need to be made up perfect with a "fluffy ending" and unicorns shooting rainbows and stuff. 

My life has SIMPLY SUCKED at moments just like everyone else, and I have had so many crazy challenges just.... like ....everyone else. I have had good and bad times, lots of tears and lots smiles. But our story is not really defined in all the "grandeur" and accomplishments in life, our story is really made about the times we doubted ourself, BUT kept BELIEVING... Is made out about the times that we were betrayed and yet we KEPT TRUSTING.... Is made out about the times that we were.... KNOCKED....DOWN but kept GETTING BACK UP. 

And as I try to finish my essay with a KNOT in my stomach mixed with fear and excitement at the same time because of this new challenge ahead, I am trying to hold my tears because as I look at my story I don't see challenges, tears, betrayal, pain or disappointments. 

This story/essay has VICTORY written all over it. God really has a special way to turn a story of an ordinary person and make it "eternally purposely" to leave a mark somewhere in a corner of someone else's heart, if we are vulnerable enough to share it!! 

I hope today you take PRIDE in your own story, embrace it, accept it and push froward with it and keep BELIEVING in yourself! 

Please please please Pray for me and KEEP me accountable... I am going to need it! 😉

Much Love,

Marisabel! 

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘