My $15 Christmas Tree (There is Potential in Everything)

"The kind of light I am talking about can’t be measured on a spectrum; it’s the kind of light that guides from within, the same as that found on earth at Christmastime."

I Just put up my Christmas Tree with the kiddos today.... Yes, I know 3 days until Christmas :-/ A little late than usual this year, but the joy a heart feels while decorating it remains the same. 

This year, I had to get a new Christmas tree as my super thick, beautiful, super tall, already lighted  Christmas Tree of 8 years (which it felt part of the family) lol! Broke off last year. And so this year, I went shopping for one. Yes, as you can imagine, I was determined to find one either very close to the one I had or BETTER!!!! Lol! 

I went around a few times last month, saw a few "potentials" but I really could not stomach spending $300 for a Christmas Tree. Not after the lessons learned this past years, NOT after my trip to Africa and what my eyes were able to see....Then, I realized..... I'm CHANGED, Different..... I'm MARKED by Life experiences, by journeys, by past sorrows. What kind of meaning does a Life marked by trials have if you don't apply your lessons to the future? What kind of value does your opportunities have if you don't learn to appreciate them, if you don't apply the wisdom given on those unique experiences?! NONE... Right?.... So, I went home empty handed, no Christmas Tree inside my trunk, feeling "defeated" because I didn't take advantage of a good "sale" 

Then, a few days later, one of my cousins called me.... He found a Christmas tree for a "whooping" $15.00. He told me:" Well, is not super big, and it's probably not thick, but $15 Prima you can eat that at Mcdonalds"( haha) you can get it and then if you find another one then no big deal"

So, I said yes! Bought lights for a few bucks and just finished decorating it! And you know, I'm so glad that I decided to "work" with this Christmas Tree... While putting it together, It "Lighted up" a few places in my soul and I'm pretty sure it open up some "light" in the hearts of my little ones. 

And Here is why........

The first comment out of my sweet Little E's mouth with a horrified face after seeing the size of the tree box was: " O....m...g!!! MOM our Christmas Tree is soooooo LITTLE :-O    LOL! I'm laughing now, but let me just say, I was NOT laughing then.

I told him: "You know what son?! It doesn't need to be the BEST kind to be beautiful, you should be grateful that you have one and I will show you how amazing this is going to look. "

And to myself I said at that moment...:" Challenged accepted" LOL! 

Now, I'm going to be honest, I had little faith for the poor little "skinny tree" but I was determined to make it work, even for myself. But It was until I started adding the LIGHTS that I got "inspired" I started to see how parts of the Tree were getting a new Life, so of course my little pondering self started thinking how the same way LIGHT changes us, it gives us new life. When we find His light it brightens up even our most darkest places and that same LIGHT breaths in a New Life in us. We can spread that same light unto others. 

Then right at that moment I felt God whispering to me...:" Even the smallest things can be BEAUTIFUL, if you know where to find the Light!" Wow!  POWERFUL, isn't it?!

Many times we find ourselves in a dark place brought up to us by disappointments, failures, bad choices, habits and we forget to realize that we all carry the same light but yet we keep ourselves in that dark tunnel waiting for a signal, a flashlight..... A sparkle. And in the midsts of all that we forget to look closely at what is in front of us, no matter how insignificant it may seem, no matter how "hideous" it may look, if we shift our attitude and utilize our light in the midst of all that.....EVERYTHING in FRONT of us has POTENTIAL even if is a MOUNTAIN, a challenge! 

Recognize the Potential of everything in your life. ;-) 

Now, back to the story...... You know what my son said when we were almost done with the tree???! 

This time his face lit up, sparkles on his eyes and dimples on his face:" Mommy, WOw.... I cannot believe how Good and beautiful our Christmas Tree looks, is so amazing !!!... Who knew it could look like this!!!" 

And you know what I told him: " You know Ez, let's this be a lesson to you  . Does it really matter to have the Best of the bEst...?! No! What's the purpose of having a BIG HOUSE, Big tree, and everything we want and not have any Happiness in our hearts..... What's the purpose of having everything in the world that we would want and yet we feel BROKEN inside?!... I much rather not have everything I want as long as my heart is full of peace, love and happiness. I much rather not have all the things I wish I could have, but be surrounded by the love of those dear to me... That's what's important!"

And guess what?! He looked at me, Smiled and gave me a BIG HUG and said:" Yes, you are right...and Thank you for our beautiful Christmas Tree" !!!!!!!!!!

Friends, May you be reminded this season the importance of seeing the Potential in everything. May you be reminded to NOTICE what's right in front of your eyes. Sometimes your blessing might not come the way you EXPECT but it is right there in front of you, don't waste the opportunity. May you be reminded that sometimes what you have in mind is not the same with what God has in mind for your life... And I don't know about you but I know that EVERYTHING that comes from The Lord, is not just GREAT but amazingly PERFECT!! 

Cherish the season!!!

Much Love,

Muah! 

<3 Besos <3

This Woman is ME!

I have been asked by a good friend of mine Karlo Gomez to Join the Sunday Morning View Movement. Which is to upload a picture embracing yourself with an inspirational quote every Sunday.

Spreading Inspiration of woman of all sizes, shape, color, background while drinking tea/coffee. It is an amazing thing to come up with something like this to Uplift one another, to EMPOWER women. 

So here is mine for this week!! 

#SundayMorningView  

"This Woman

Has fought a thousand battles 

And is still standing.

Has cried a thousand tears 

And is still smiling.

Has been Broken, Betrayed, Abandoned, Rejected, 

But she still Walks Proud. 

Laughs loud, lives WITHOUT fear, 

LOVES without Doubt.

This woman is Beautiful.

This woman is HUMBLE. 

This woman, 

is ME!"

 

This quote is totally Me, it describes EXACTLY just the way I feel.

To my beautiful ladies out there in the #SundayMorningView  And out there....

We all have this woman inside, we have been broken, betrayed, abandoned, rejected. 

May you find today strength within all of your struggles, challenges and disappointments. And May you find today the Courage to not only look at yourself in the mirrow, but to also BELIEVE, that the woman in the mirror still has the POWER to LOVE, to SMILE. May You recognize that woman is Beautiful, HUMBLE and that Indeed, that woman is YOU!!!!! 

Muah! 

Much LOve from this Diva on the Loose!! 

Why do I always call myself a Diva????>>>>>

Divine

Inspiration 

  for a 

Victorious

Attitude

On the Loose???!!! <<<< because I am set FREE, I have Freedom to choose and build the kind of LIFE I am intended to LIVE!! 

BoOM! 

#handleit #divawisdom #divaempire #divainspiration #divaontheloose #curlyhair 

#Embrace #Upload and #Follow @sundaymorningview  

@karlogomez  and @mariegomez313 BESOS!!! Tons of Besos!! Miss you always!!

May We Never Forget One another

Tonight, I wept. Not because of me this time, but I wept because there is so many people hurting quietly out there. I wept for the quiet soul that pretends to smile during the day. For the couple SCREAMING at each other at the unit right on top of mine at night. I wept for those who lose someone they love by suicide. I wept for the struggle and the pain that some have to go through on a daily basis. 

Life as beautiful as it can be, it is so HARD! The pain is REAL, challenges are REAL, weariness is REAL. And most of us have forgotten to be present in each other's lives. We have forgotten to Reach out, we have lost the courage to love on friends and those around us. We have learn to hide our fears, pain and our own reality in social media. 

And so my heart wept tonight for YOU, for all of US. 

I pray that God will continue to fill us with His unique strength and LOVE. I pray that We do not try to search for UNDERSTANDING  but to search for his TRUST! 

May you please go out tomorrow and look someone straight in the eye and say "Good Morning" with a smile on your face. May you please acknowledge someone you don't know and wish them a good day. May you just hug someone today, just because you are happy that all of us are still Alive. 

Each day we get is a new opportunity to pour our hearts into the living world.... May you please make each day COUNT??!!! :-D

May we NEVER forget ONE Another. 

Much Love to you my friends, from this Diva on The Loose....

Besos!! Muah!! 

#divacheckingout

Photo: from 5 weeks ago #Africa #missionarytrip @ Mbare Village #Rwanda

Love

I know some of you know, I just got back from Africa and spend about 17 days doing missionary work. It was an amazing experience and I can't wait to share more, in the meantime, I want to share with you little parts of my journal! 

 Muah!

Day 5

Love 

Over the years, I have asked that question to God. What is love?

Especially, over the last 4 years, after living with someone for 13 years, or having people in my life that have taken me for granted. I always was troubled with the meaning of love. Always questioning, how can someone love and yet take you for granted? How can someone love and treat you in such an unfair way?! 

After having my first child, I experienced love in a different kind of way, but yet, I started to understand that I cannot wrap the word LOVE around my son, because then that would not be healthy for any of us. Then after I became a single mom, I started to understand that I needed to find LOVE within me to be able to Love others and to love and appreciate relationships. I also learned that I should never expect to find happiness in the measure of love that I would receive from others. I must simply and genuinely Give it. We live in a society that ties the word LOVE with a very strong grip on marriage, a "relationship" as the Ultimate Meaning of LOVE, that it is so hard on some of us to be able to Co-Exist after a "breakup". 

But we got it all wrong, I have realized that I carry infinite amounts of LOVE within me, and I have to be able to be open and vulnerable enough to give it. I have realized that only when I find the place within me to accept and to love myself, I would not be able to comprehend its meaning. 

Today we traveled 2 and a half hours on a bus to visit the children of the school that our church started to build 3 years ago at the Mbare village. No source of water up in the mountain, only Adobe houses, no bathrooms

For us this was just a little "sacrifice" on our part to make it out there to deliver toys, schools supplies, etc. Now, for Them We Were their EVERYTHING! And I don't know about you my friends but that is just plain Love. Joyful people regardless of the situation, living conditions etc., they give you love. Material things were not that important to them but WE were. Our ACT of caring delivers LOVE and in return we have an immense overwhelming feeling of LOVE in return. 

So what is LOVE I ask you.

To me Love is Christ within me, He is the source of my soul and spirit, HE is my everything. 

Some people could not understand why I would want to come to Africa especially being a single mom Of 2 children. And I say why not?! I love my children very much and I have found God's Love within me, there is nothing to fear. I walk on faith because I understand we are ALL made for a special Purpose and I trust in Him completely to guide me in finding mine. 

And I thank Him for planting the Desire in me heart and for giving me the Courage to be able to follow that desire. 

I am exactly at the place where I am suppose to be. 

Now, look at all these happy faces it says LOVE all over it! 

Until the next time!! 

Muah! **Besos**

Regret vs Rejection

I'm pretty sure most of you know my grandfather has been battling Cancer this past year. This pic here was taken the night before I was leaving to Africa. 

He was at the hospital because they had found blood on his lungs. That night after seeing him, right on that hospital parking Lot, I Wept. I called my mom crying and told her I went to see him because I was not sure if that was the last time I was going to kiss him and tell him how much I love him. 

You see, my grandfather has always been very special to me. Strong character and protective. He has helped me so so much when I was on my own in California. 

As soon as he heard about an incident that had happened and I became a single mother, he got into a car with my grandma very discreet from the rest of the family and drove to California for 4 days and stayed with me for 3 weeks. Gave me Protection, support and strength to carry on with what I was about to face in the next 4 years. And did not leave my side until he felt I was emotional strong enough to continue pushing forward the battle I was facing at that moment.

Since then, he has been nothing but an amazing support system for me. 

There were times that I would crumble in desperation crying because I was so tired of court and not knowing how to keep going and his strong character would SHAKE me back UP into place telling me that I needed to calm down and face whatever I needed to face because I could not let myself crumble. I was to keep walking on victory. He would remind me how far I've come and he would demand for me to remain STRONG at all times and guess what?... I did. 

He has been a big part of where I am today and I have been so blessed for his support, especially emotional. 

 Sometimes after a long week, I would sit on his couch at his living room and I instantly would feel a sense of protection... I instantly felt this amazing feeling of peace that everything was going to be ok. 

And today it is! :-) 

 

When I came back from my trip on Sunday, I did got a chance to see him again. This time he was out of the hospital, back on his house. But he was very thin and weak and with the news from the doctor that he only had about 5 months to live. ;-( 

I was heartbroken, I knew it was bound to happen but it doesn't matter, I'm still heartbroken.

 

And you know, as I'm sitting here writing about this, I think about the moment I went to see him today. I was very excited to go to show him some pictures of my Trip to Africa. But when I got there he was so weak and having a hard day. It was very difficult for him to breath even with the oxygen machine. 

And as I sat there by him, I pondered on that very moment. 

How can someone prepares for his/her death? 

There is this man, which I have the pleasure to call my grandfather. Has been blessed with a full rich long life. God allowed him to see the big generation he will be leaving behind. He has been the strong Root that keeps our family together. And here he is preparing for his death to leave this earth and to depart from our lives.

 It made me wonder how does it feels and as I write this it makes sad even more. How can one prepares for this? 

When we know a baby is about to be born, we count the days in expectancy and celebration of the precious new life that is about to come. 

And yet, when we are getting ready to leave this earth and preparing for our death, how is it going to look like for many of us!?

Gosh! Another lesson for me, this has been a very Life changing month for me.. In between my trip to California, my emotional roller coaster experience in Africa, the aftermath of digesting after coming back home and seeing my grandfather getting ready to depart from this life, it has made me re-evaluate what really is important in life and reiterates what I've already learn in the past 4 years and confirms to my life what really matters.

We have become a society that plays a lot of games when it comes to relationships... (that's any kind of relationships) and because of this we are missing out on so much more. We miss out on people, potential relationships, friendships etc. Just because we overthink things or set and follow "society stupid rules" or for the simple fact of fear of rejection. We miss out on opportunities again for fear..(failure, risks, rejection) etc., that if you were the one preparing for your death, would you be regretting some things in your life?! Would you regret forgiving and letting go of something? Would you be regretting not pursuing someone you genuinely love?!

My friends, If you love someone, call and let them know. If you think about someone, if you like and Appreciate someone CALL and let them know today! If you have them by you, give them a HUG and MEAN it. If you need to apologize, Do it, if you need to forgive.. Forgive and move on! 

Take that chance, who cares about rejection. The pain of REGRET will surpass way more than the pain of REJECTION.

I know my grandfather is at peace, he has been nothing but a Great man and I'm proud of calling him Grandpa (Guelo). 

I am sad, very sad but I accept the cycle of this life and Gods will.

Please pray for our family & if you see me, give me a HUG, I sure need one! 

Much Love!

#divacheckingOUT #grandaughtersLove

#grandpaLove

Be PRESENT in the present GRATEFULLY!

"There is in every woman's heart a Spark of heavenly fire which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity"

It is a great feeling been able to find His light within me through my past adversities. And joyfully today in my moments of prosperity, I'm able to keep that fire Lit Up within me, reminding myself TO REMAIN grateful for everything He has given me today! 

"If you must look back do so FORGIVINGLY, if you will look forward do so PRAYERFULLY, But the wisest course would be to BE PRESENT in the present GRATEFULLY." 

I am Present TODAY, with a grateful Heart and in a relentless and passionate pursuit to chase after Him until I am completely clear and realize that He is the ONLY LOVE of my Life. I pray and pray harder that my heart will stay rooted within Him so that THE man He has for me can ONLY find me Through Him! 

Is one of the hardest prayers my heart carries because as humans we always want our way, but I stay grounded and rooted in Him because everything that comes through Him is not just good, But Amazingly GREAT!! . 

I pray today that you are ENCOURAGED in Him, that you know how BEAUTIFUL YOU are, and that He LOVES you deeply! 

Thank you Jesus! 

Much Love as Always,

<3 Besos <3 

#divacheckingout

Dare to go BEYOND your Limits!!

As usual a little MIA from my blog but, I promise I will get back on the blog wagon soon.

I'm in such a High of life right now. All these challenges I've faced in these past 2 years just to get established with my 2 children from my cross country move and starting in a different state over 4,000 miles away from where it was my home for 13 years has been quite THE JOURNEY! 

But this year seeing our life coming together, not the way I planned it or intended to be, it has been an amazing thing... Challenges, Risks and All. 

I feel blessed, I have grown as a women and mother even more because I'm always receptive to the lessons my unique journey provides for me. I am only STRONG, and beautiful because of God's Strength and Love. I am so grateful of the opportunities He has given me and the ones that will keep coming along the way. 

I was reminded today at our Church Service, the place I was years ago, and how amazingly graceful God has been to me. 

I hope that today if you believe in God, your Strength and hope are renew. 

And If you Stopped believing in Him Long time ago, because of Hurt, Disappointments, Judgements of "Christians" ... Would you look at my life? My soul? My Good intentions and my Life inspiration?! And if I tell you that everything in my life only Mirrors His amazing Spirit within Me.... Would you believe in Him again??!! 

My hope and prayer is that you do!!!! We don't need to be perfect, I am NOT perfect, and Will never Be and God knows that! 

"I bear MANY scars, but I also carry with me moments that would not have happened if I had NOT DARED to go beyond my Limits" - Paulo Coelho 

It is because His Faithfulness that I Dare to go BEYOND my Limits!!!!!! Woot Woot!!! 

I hope all of you Beautiful People have a Fantastic Sunday!!! 

As always Much LOVE, 

 <3 Besos <3 Muah!! :-*

Pray. Share a Smile. Give a Hug. Lend a Hand.

 I have been a little "MIA" from the "Facebook scene" and blog too.

 Life has become busy, but productive all in a good way. It has allowed me to Refocus, reset my mindset and to evaluate those things and values that are important for the new life I am building with my children. 

And well here I am wanting to give all of you a little update about us. =D 

I am always grateful to all of you out there that genuinely care, have inspired, cheered on and kept us in your prayers. 

Well, 2014 a year I claimed to be of VICTORY, a year of reaping the good things after all the tears, challenges and perseverance over every single obstacle that came my way. 

I continue to move and push forward because I want nothing more that to become the human being I am destined to be. I'm relentless to fulfilled the special purpose God has set aside for me and to leave a real legacy in this world behind. Whether a tiny little seed, a footprint or a mark that will change someone's life is more than enough for me. 

And well, I want to share the new journey I am about to embark......

It has been in my heart for many, many years to be a missionary, an advocate, a voice to those that don't have any. Whether locally, internationally it never mattered to me as long as it was to serve and so my missionary heart has always long for an opportunity like this. 

One of my goals this year was to give more of my time to others and to INVEST in something "fruitful". And soooo here I Am....... An opportunity became available for me to serve to Africa this Summer!!!!! 

As you can imagine, I am Very excited, anxious, Excited, nervous of the unknown, excited, prayful, excited, blessed and YES EXCITED!! LOL! 

And well you know how much I love COUNTDOWNS, so here it is...... 

Countdown has BEGUN and I am super Happy to be sharing my excitement with all of you!!!! 

So YES People, my name is Marisabel Matta. I am a Single Mom, a business woman, a student, a mover and a SHAKER, Survivor, an advocate and now a Missionary!!!! 

No. I am NOT Super Woman!!!

I am an ordinary person JUST like YOU, with an unbelievable determination, a vision and a PASSION to follow my purpose and DREAMS..... Woot Woot!!! 

Please, please PRAY and PRAY some more as I embark on this wonderful journey. I will be visiting Mbare, Rwanda in Africa on a missionary trip from our church ( Highland Park Church in Lakeland) with 10 others. 

Rwanda in east-central Africa is surrounded by the Denocratic Republic of the Congo, Uganda, Tanzania and Burundi. 

It is slightly smaller than Maryland. In 100 days, beginning in April 1994, Hutu rampaged through the country and slaughtered an estimated 800,000 Tutsi and their moderate Hutu sympathized. After the violence was ceased, the country began to rebuild and put together the pieces that were left. Highland Park Church sent a team to Rwanda in Aug 2011 to begin work on a 4 classroom building in Mbare village. The building has since been completed and are partnering with missionaries there to begin construction on an addition to the building adding 2 more classrooms and restrooms. 

We also will try to provide more school supplies and I will be working on soliciting donations to different companies on dental supplies to provide some education on dental hygiene for the children!!! =D

Each one of us have to raise at least $3,000 to cover for travel costs and in addition we will be doing our best to get as many school supplies as we can. 

Please, please keep us in your prayers. 

If you feel led to make a donation no matter how big or small inbox me. Money will NOT be payable directly to me but to the church into my "trip account" I can send the link to those interested and it will be tax deductible. Now, please don't feel obligated as this is NOT the purpose of my post. Prayer in itself means the world to ME!! ;-) please LIKE and SHARE this post to all of your friends. I would so appreciated it. 

"Our lives Begin to End the Day we Become SILENT about things that matter ~ Marthin Luther King Jr~

Thank you for helping me keep the FIRE God has set DEEP down in my soul. I pray that not only my words but my ACTIONS serve as an inspiration and will touch the hearts of many. 

Remember, in the words of the wonderful Martin Luther King Jr:" Life's most persistent and URGENT question is, What are you doing for others?!" 

YES, What are WE doing for others?! 

Pray. Share a Smile. Give a hug. Lend a Hand.

As always, Much Love to all.

Diva is checking out.

Muah! <3 Besos <3 

Celebrating Healing and Freedom

It has been a while since I posted on my blog.

 Life's been busy and challenging... In a good way this time. :-) 

I can't believe it's been 2 years in FL already, I still miss Cali but I'm excited of how well things are turning out here for all of us. 

Just recently I've decided to attempt finish reading this book:

"Why does He do that? Inside the minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Brancroft

It was reccomended to me years ago by a great friend of mine.. My dear Katy who was and still is such a great support to me while going through my separation. 

 At the time, I was not yet strong enough to digest all the information and got very overwhelmed, so I stopped reading it and put it away.  

But, recently after a few conversations and some experiences other friends are going through, I remembered and decided to dig into it. After almost 4 years of freedom and challenges I am at a healthy place in my life where I can process and digest all this information. And the wonderful thing is that it has made me realize how much I have healed and moved forward from that past experience. I'm still on the road of emotional healing and recovery, but I can sure confirm that I'm emotional, spiritual and physically healthy in the midst of my past.  I made the decision to make changes in my life, to stand up for myself and the things that are not right. I now surround myself with people that respect me and understand my value and I eliminated the people in my life that did not appreciate me and decided to build my foundation with God. 

It's a great book and I encourage anyone to read it. Whether married, single, in a relationship, going through a divorce or even if you have a teenage daughter. I wished I had this book in my hands as a teenager, but with my life experiences, knowledge and wisdom, I know better now to not JUMP into a relationship or something quick, only for the simple fact of feeling lonely or desperate for some attention....<<< Amen! For that...;-) 

Choosing the road to be free of abuse is not an easy one, especially if it entails becoming a single mother and dealing with your healing and tending of  precious little ones. 

But I am a living proof that it can be done. 

Being single is not easy at times too, but it is always good to remember to enjoy the seasons of your life as they are only temporary. 

While on this season, I have learn a lot about myself... I've been determined to find myself again, to nurture my desires and to focus on becoming the person I am destined to be. 

And I am doing all of that with great SUCCESS!

Remember that:" Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person's self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion."

And a "mind that is stretched by a New Experience can never go Back"

And so, my mind is never going BACK... Moving FORWARD!!

As always, 

Much Love! 

This Diva is checking out!!

<3 Besos <3 

#healinginMotion #standupToAbuse

#getknowledge #identify #makechanges #inspiration #divawisdom