LIFE is NOTHING but PURE MAGIC!

With Everything that has gone through in the past few years in my life. I've become fascinated  with butterflies, because that's how my Mommy compares and inspires my journey. In the beginning, she used to tell me...:

        "You are in a metamorphosis in your life. Keep it up, have faith and really soon you will become like a butterfly. You will FLY with all your beautiful rainbow colors. Do NOT get WEARY... You can do it!!!"...

So I took a pic when I saw this little visitor on my window this morning. :-D   

But I couldn't helped to notice that this little cute butterfly was hanging upside down. And of course A Diva like ME couldn't help but wonder..!! ;-) 

I remember one time vividly, when I was recently separated almost going on a year of going through my divorce process at the time. ((in and out of court in a stressful and delicate situation, w/ a Restraining order against my ex))

and I had to move from a 3,400 square feet home with 2 babies (4yr old at the time and a baby girl that barely turned a year)

no family close, just me and a few good friends.

And I remember packing and handling that move on my own...it was exhausting!! I felt like that house was a Big Monster that was going to eat me alive, it was draining my energy. I packed a total of 120 some boxes roughly
 (big boxes too w/ out counting furniture)

it took me almost a few weeks just to get all that shit together and it was never ending.
  
 But half way there, I remember one day I was sooo exhausted it was never ending packing, and still didn't had things all figured out yet. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING, but clothes was going straight to 2 big storage units... Because I was fixing to move to a friends apartment until I can figure out a quick plan. And I was also training for my comp at the time

 ( had no idea how I pull all that Shit together on my Own))
 

And I remember that day, I've pack almost like 30 boxes without having any much sleep.. And I was so exhausted I felt like QUITING!
I was DONE.. Drained.... I mean exhausted of LIFE.

I went to a corner inside my walking closet, kiddies were sleeping and I scrunched myself down in a corner, knees up, head down and I started crying to the point of been hyperventilating and gasping for air.


I called my mom crying hysterically telling her:
 "I dont think I can do This, I can't anymore, this is it... I am DONE, I Quit!! I CAN'T anymore, why me??? I try and try my hardest, but why do I need to go through this ON MY OWN???!!!"

And my Mom to my surprise, started telling me a story about a butterfly

 (let me just tell ya, she always does THIS.. Lol! most of the time she speaks to me in metaphors, and is funny, but I usually get the message better that way too.. Lol! Go figure!)

But anyway, she went onto tell me that it was part of my "metamorphosis".. She told me that I was inside the Cocoon O_o
and that

"God was telling me to get out of the cocoon because your gotta get ready to fly and you are wanting to stay there...!!!" 

Believed me, from crying I Busted it out laughing and I told my mom:

" Well, to b honest, whooooo said I'm ready to fly??! I want to stay in this little cocoon forever, as matter of fact I want to stich it up a bit more stronger so it won't open!.. How's That???!!! ... " lol!

 And my mom told me with a smile on her voice,

" Well, my daughter when God  says you are ready... It doesn't matter what you think.... >> you are READY! ".. And so it's time to get out of the Cocoon" 

 

So you need to Get up, grab another Box, fill it up.. Close it, move it down stairs and repeat.. One at a time.. When u get tired, stop and cry .. Let it out, wipe your tears and do it All over again until it's Done!!.... You can do it I believe in You!! "

And I Did!!

Even to this day, that right there brings tears to my eyes.

 

And u know what's funny ??.. That was only the beginning  of the challenges that were going to await me that whole year..! So it ended up being a little monster compare to the other Crap I had to deal with afterwards! 

Now, back to the picture I took RIGHT ??!! Lol! 

This past few weeks, I've been wondering how I remember My mom telling me this..... "that I was getting ready to fly... how I became a butterfly and I'm about to fly... its coming...  you'll see''' it's  almost around the corner... keeeep PUSHING...Blah blah BLAH!!!!! LOL! 

And u know I was getting a little FEISTY, because I was likeeeeee !! Gossshhh, really??!!! how much does it take to just take off and fly?? ( that image in my head to me was like taking off on a Freaking Jet, at a thousand miles per hr in half a second)) 

Click here for a mental view.. LOL!

 

^^^^^^ I am pretty sure you get the picture here..<<< totally realistic Right??!!! I know!  Ha ha! 

But I am tired of "floating" my wings instead of "FLYINNNNNG"  and so I've gotten Fiesty.

 BUT then I saw this little butterfly upside down this morning and it dawned on me. ;-))))

And Soooo, 

According to the Wing Anatomy of a Butterfly..>>> Yes, Yes, I know I am a freaking NERD I can' help it...SHOOT ME!!!  LOL!!!! 

"When the fully-grown adult butterfly emerges from its pupa, its delicate wings are crinkled, wet, and uninflated. The butterfly hangs upside-down and pumps blood into the wings to inflate them. It must then wait for the wings to dry before it can fly. When the fragile wings fray or are torn, they do not repair themselves."

And you know that explains my Mommy's story.
My life, even though better than it was before, it does feel upside down sometimes.
Now, I know why... !! 

Even though I've become a "butterfly" and have beautiful "wings" they are NOT ready to fly much yet.. I got to strengthen them and wait for them to dry to become Stronger,.. A moment of  "Calm and Wainting " ((which I DO Not like by the way)) 

It's all simple, God is making sure that my set of wings are Strong when I get ready to Fly High, Very High Up!!!! ;-))) 

Corny and Cheesy!!!! I KNOW!! 

But I am Corny and Cheesy sometimes and that's Allright too... 

BUT I do BELIEVE on my MOMMY'S Story with Every Single Part of my Whole Being!!!! 

And I feel so loved and blessed that even in my most "Feisty" moments with God, He still answers me and sends me signals.. To nudge me and to remind me 

"Hellooooo, this is God, I am Here,!!! I can hear what your saying/thinking. And I do know what I am Doing!!!!"  

<3 <3 <3 <3 

Thank you God and I love you sooo soooo much Mother!!! 

Te amo Madre!! 

Keep Believing my friends, life is nothing But Pure Magic!!!! 

<3 Besos <3  

GOD #gotjokes but HE LOVESme so.

"God has never FAILED me, but He's sure scare me a few times"..

 

I'm pretty sure some of u can relate to this. Life is not perfect even though with our ignorance, we expect God most of the time to hand things easy to us... And Hey, I even  feel sometimes like that Man Upstairs #gotjokes. But I'm #grateful  that is during those trials and scary moments when he shows His grace for me the best, in those quiet moments of anxiety and anguish. I can feel him there with me, ALL THE TIME!! And He always rescues me..!!!! ((even on my most FEISTY moments I've had with Him.. Haha)) I have GROWN so much in the past few years, just by the things He's allowed to happened In my life, and Looking back it was all an opportunity for a better life for myself all along. Only when I made the choice of going through the toughest way and do things the right way, blessings and growth started to happen!! Still sometimes it feels draining and tiring but I'm grateful knowing that it can always be worse. There's always someone who is going through tougher times than us. And because of that I will never complain. 

Even though it may feel as He got jokes, He loves us. Things ALWAYS have a purpose and because of that Never Ever give up!! You can Do it, keep on PUSHING!!! 

<3 Besos <3   

Diva on the Loose signing off! ;-))) 

 #divagladiator