LIFE is NOTHING but PURE MAGIC!

With Everything that has gone through in the past few years in my life. I've become fascinated  with butterflies, because that's how my Mommy compares and inspires my journey. In the beginning, she used to tell me...:

        "You are in a metamorphosis in your life. Keep it up, have faith and really soon you will become like a butterfly. You will FLY with all your beautiful rainbow colors. Do NOT get WEARY... You can do it!!!"...

So I took a pic when I saw this little visitor on my window this morning. :-D   

But I couldn't helped to notice that this little cute butterfly was hanging upside down. And of course A Diva like ME couldn't help but wonder..!! ;-) 

I remember one time vividly, when I was recently separated almost going on a year of going through my divorce process at the time. ((in and out of court in a stressful and delicate situation, w/ a Restraining order against my ex))

and I had to move from a 3,400 square feet home with 2 babies (4yr old at the time and a baby girl that barely turned a year)

no family close, just me and a few good friends.

And I remember packing and handling that move on my own...it was exhausting!! I felt like that house was a Big Monster that was going to eat me alive, it was draining my energy. I packed a total of 120 some boxes roughly
 (big boxes too w/ out counting furniture)

it took me almost a few weeks just to get all that shit together and it was never ending.
  
 But half way there, I remember one day I was sooo exhausted it was never ending packing, and still didn't had things all figured out yet. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING, but clothes was going straight to 2 big storage units... Because I was fixing to move to a friends apartment until I can figure out a quick plan. And I was also training for my comp at the time

 ( had no idea how I pull all that Shit together on my Own))
 

And I remember that day, I've pack almost like 30 boxes without having any much sleep.. And I was so exhausted I felt like QUITING!
I was DONE.. Drained.... I mean exhausted of LIFE.

I went to a corner inside my walking closet, kiddies were sleeping and I scrunched myself down in a corner, knees up, head down and I started crying to the point of been hyperventilating and gasping for air.


I called my mom crying hysterically telling her:
 "I dont think I can do This, I can't anymore, this is it... I am DONE, I Quit!! I CAN'T anymore, why me??? I try and try my hardest, but why do I need to go through this ON MY OWN???!!!"

And my Mom to my surprise, started telling me a story about a butterfly

 (let me just tell ya, she always does THIS.. Lol! most of the time she speaks to me in metaphors, and is funny, but I usually get the message better that way too.. Lol! Go figure!)

But anyway, she went onto tell me that it was part of my "metamorphosis".. She told me that I was inside the Cocoon O_o
and that

"God was telling me to get out of the cocoon because your gotta get ready to fly and you are wanting to stay there...!!!" 

Believed me, from crying I Busted it out laughing and I told my mom:

" Well, to b honest, whooooo said I'm ready to fly??! I want to stay in this little cocoon forever, as matter of fact I want to stich it up a bit more stronger so it won't open!.. How's That???!!! ... " lol!

 And my mom told me with a smile on her voice,

" Well, my daughter when God  says you are ready... It doesn't matter what you think.... >> you are READY! ".. And so it's time to get out of the Cocoon" 

 

So you need to Get up, grab another Box, fill it up.. Close it, move it down stairs and repeat.. One at a time.. When u get tired, stop and cry .. Let it out, wipe your tears and do it All over again until it's Done!!.... You can do it I believe in You!! "

And I Did!!

Even to this day, that right there brings tears to my eyes.

 

And u know what's funny ??.. That was only the beginning  of the challenges that were going to await me that whole year..! So it ended up being a little monster compare to the other Crap I had to deal with afterwards! 

Now, back to the picture I took RIGHT ??!! Lol! 

This past few weeks, I've been wondering how I remember My mom telling me this..... "that I was getting ready to fly... how I became a butterfly and I'm about to fly... its coming...  you'll see''' it's  almost around the corner... keeeep PUSHING...Blah blah BLAH!!!!! LOL! 

And u know I was getting a little FEISTY, because I was likeeeeee !! Gossshhh, really??!!! how much does it take to just take off and fly?? ( that image in my head to me was like taking off on a Freaking Jet, at a thousand miles per hr in half a second)) 

Click here for a mental view.. LOL!

 

^^^^^^ I am pretty sure you get the picture here..<<< totally realistic Right??!!! I know!  Ha ha! 

But I am tired of "floating" my wings instead of "FLYINNNNNG"  and so I've gotten Fiesty.

 BUT then I saw this little butterfly upside down this morning and it dawned on me. ;-))))

And Soooo, 

According to the Wing Anatomy of a Butterfly..>>> Yes, Yes, I know I am a freaking NERD I can' help it...SHOOT ME!!!  LOL!!!! 

"When the fully-grown adult butterfly emerges from its pupa, its delicate wings are crinkled, wet, and uninflated. The butterfly hangs upside-down and pumps blood into the wings to inflate them. It must then wait for the wings to dry before it can fly. When the fragile wings fray or are torn, they do not repair themselves."

And you know that explains my Mommy's story.
My life, even though better than it was before, it does feel upside down sometimes.
Now, I know why... !! 

Even though I've become a "butterfly" and have beautiful "wings" they are NOT ready to fly much yet.. I got to strengthen them and wait for them to dry to become Stronger,.. A moment of  "Calm and Wainting " ((which I DO Not like by the way)) 

It's all simple, God is making sure that my set of wings are Strong when I get ready to Fly High, Very High Up!!!! ;-))) 

Corny and Cheesy!!!! I KNOW!! 

But I am Corny and Cheesy sometimes and that's Allright too... 

BUT I do BELIEVE on my MOMMY'S Story with Every Single Part of my Whole Being!!!! 

And I feel so loved and blessed that even in my most "Feisty" moments with God, He still answers me and sends me signals.. To nudge me and to remind me 

"Hellooooo, this is God, I am Here,!!! I can hear what your saying/thinking. And I do know what I am Doing!!!!"  

<3 <3 <3 <3 

Thank you God and I love you sooo soooo much Mother!!! 

Te amo Madre!! 

Keep Believing my friends, life is nothing But Pure Magic!!!! 

<3 Besos <3  

GOD #gotjokes but HE LOVESme so.

"God has never FAILED me, but He's sure scare me a few times"..

 

I'm pretty sure some of u can relate to this. Life is not perfect even though with our ignorance, we expect God most of the time to hand things easy to us... And Hey, I even  feel sometimes like that Man Upstairs #gotjokes. But I'm #grateful  that is during those trials and scary moments when he shows His grace for me the best, in those quiet moments of anxiety and anguish. I can feel him there with me, ALL THE TIME!! And He always rescues me..!!!! ((even on my most FEISTY moments I've had with Him.. Haha)) I have GROWN so much in the past few years, just by the things He's allowed to happened In my life, and Looking back it was all an opportunity for a better life for myself all along. Only when I made the choice of going through the toughest way and do things the right way, blessings and growth started to happen!! Still sometimes it feels draining and tiring but I'm grateful knowing that it can always be worse. There's always someone who is going through tougher times than us. And because of that I will never complain. 

Even though it may feel as He got jokes, He loves us. Things ALWAYS have a purpose and because of that Never Ever give up!! You can Do it, keep on PUSHING!!! 

<3 Besos <3   

Diva on the Loose signing off! ;-))) 

 #divagladiator 

GIFTS in the MIDST of CHALLENGES

I need to write more often here and I constantly have things in my mind, but haven't taken that time to come in here and do it.

But, you know the past 2 weeks have been challenging with unexpected events. And even though sometimes life with its challenges make me feel like I want to throw in the towel, I am grateful that I am surrounded with people that cheer me on and tell me "Keep going Mari, You can Do it".

On the midst of everything, God ALWAYS teach me something valuable. Little "gifts" that continue to help me grow as a better, stronger person. 

These past few weeks I have learn the "gift" of Perseverance because of an Immense Love For my family and the importance it was for me to be with the ones I love, to cherish a wonderful special accomplishment. So in the midst of that, I got the joy of spending a short but beautiful time with my family. 

I have learned the "gift" of Acceptance.  On how important it is to Accept that sometimes plans change, things happen and toes break too... Haha! ...But In the midst of that I've learned that there is Always Next Time and to cherish the quality time spend with family. 

And I have learned the "gift" of REST and Focus, this is a biggie for me especially when I'm such a Go getter x10 that sometimes I don't know how to calm down. I am  constantly wanting to go in life 50miles on a 15 mile zone... Haha! (Thanks Dad! ;-)) and I'm always wanting to do a Million things at once and forget to step back, look around and focus (Thanks Mom! ;-))... But in the midst of that I can appreciate the effort that people put to make me LAUGH!!!..(Thank U Braulio) 

I've learned that Challenges for the most part give us Opportunities for Bonding in a different way with those around us. And we learned a different appreciation for them!! I may NOT have tons of Money saved up in my bank Account, but I AM RICH, because of all the people that are in my life that supports me and Loves me unconditionally!! 

Thank u so much, you know who u are!!! 

Muah!! <3 Besos <3 

A MOTHER'S HEART!!!

As I prepare myself on this next 5 days for the kids leaving for 6 weeks this Summer... My heart even though it breaks, It also gets Stronger... I have done it once and I can do it again!!

All throughout the weekend, the kiddies come to me, hug me and tell me:" I am going to miss you sooo much mommy". It breaks my heart, the 3 of us feel the same and even though it's sad, I have learn to see the good in it. And what that shows me is that the 3 of us have created a Special Bond  with each other and that doesn't have a Price tag..

I've been praying and praying sooo hard this past week for strength and you know what My Dear Son, Ezequiel whom is 6 years old told me yesterday?! ...

 He said :" Mommy, I am going to miss you sooooo much, but you know what?... I am going to tell God to remind you every single day how much Janeschka and I  appreciate having a Mommy like you.. " << tears rolled down my face and I had the biggest smile. =D 

And you know what friends, it was at that very moment I realized that it was going to be okay.. I let go with peace in my heart that when my babies are with me, I do everything within my power and resources I get for the benefit of those 2 little ones... 

Do I get to do everything I desire and want, whenever I want?! .... Not Always! 

Is it easy to sacrifice and do everything I do on a daily basis for their benefit?!... Not really, but WORTH IT! 

Does it take me longer to accomplish the goals that I have set for myself?!... Certainly, but Nothing is Impossible. And I will not use it as an excuse to set limitations for myself. 

With that said.... I let go, I embrace the heartache and I will focus on recharging my energy.  So that this year We can come out even Stronger so that we'll be able to move Bigger mountains and Conquer new opportunities for this lil' family of us! 

We are a Force to be reckoned with and NOTHING can Stop us!! 

As always thank u for all your love and prayers, we are so blessed to have such special people in our lives!!

<3 Besos <3 

EMBRACE your SHADOW!!

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shinning somewhere nearby." ~Ruth E Renkel~

"Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter for discovery and adventure rather than fear" ~

~Jonathan Lockwood~ 

 

Our pain and the fear of the unknown has brought us closer together...

We continue to Conquer! 

I am the one who is setting the pace of this Lil' family therefore I keep taking Full responsibility without doubting myself on the decisions I have to make and feeling the fear, but facing every challenge we have to face HEAD ON!! 

Not backing down!! Never will... 

We are Champions!!! 

Woot Woot!! 

Friends.... Never Give Up! You can do anything you set your mind to!!! ;-)) 

<3 Besos <3 

STOP....CONQUER...Be a SURVIVOR..DARE to LIVE AGAIN

I've been thinking these past few weeks, what to write in here. And all I could hear inside this Diva's mind has been ...hmmm...well..."Crickets" ...Yep, very silent up there. :-/
 Then I remembered the time I started this blog, I think it was 2010. Still married at the time, knowing and feeling as if I had A LOT to say, yet Words wouldn't come out of me. So, I kept the blog here in the cyberspace, empty and lost. I knew deep inside that one day it would be of good use to me, just simply didnt know when.
Now, Fast Forward almost 3 years later, looking back never in a MILLION years thought my life was going to SPIN  the way it did,  and so here I am writing my first Piece.. HA! >> Probably full of typos but, Hey I am not a Professional Writer, I DO NOT Have a team of Editors and if you feel insulted by it, please and I say PLEASE ***Do not Let the Door hit you in the A$$*** and So with that said and out of the way, I am inserting a **BIG SMILE** << here.

So, lately as some of you may have noticed, my statuses on Facebook have become almost like letters, really LOOONG and out of control, which made me feel like "Hmmm.. maybe it's time to move myself into my blog space." Lol! I am pretty sure a lot of people will be happy about that.. ha ha!

For those of you who don't know me and even those who do, I am not writing my whole "sappy" life story in one post or to "update" you. I am just taking this as I go. Now, if someone out there wants a little background you can check my Athlete Page on Facebook >>>

Marisabel (PRDIVA) Matta- A Diva On the Loose  <<< Link added for your convenience..:-)

Now, We went to Church today and it was GREAT! Love how it filled my Spirit! Kids loved it too and finally, Florida it's feeling like Home after 10 months from our BIG MOVE all the way from California.
This Mama Bear is getting stuff handled and we are Almost Completely Settled!! Woot Woot! ;-) Very Proud of myself and my little ones, we are Troopers and CHAMPIONS!!

After hearing the message at Church, of course a DIVA like ME will do some Deep Pondering HA!
and this quote came to mind:

"If you want to live a Happy Life, tie it to a Goal, not to people or objects".
                                ~Albert Einstein~

                        ^^^^^^****^^^^^ Smart Guy eh?! ;-)

This made me think of how *We* live in a World today of "Victimization" ..... Everybody wants to be a Victim or looking for an opportunity to BE a Victim. Even those who are NOT looking to be a Victim, Society ENCOURAGES them to Be a Victim. Pretty Amazing and true when we look at it from this perspective isn't it?
Now, when that happens, we are allowing ourselves to place or set our minds in a "stand still" mode. Expecting that things will change on its own without us having to move a finger!!  <<<<< Trust me, I've been there and I'm NOT Proud of it!
But, once I recognized THAT attitude, I made the changes necessary as painful as they were and made the decision to change my mindset...

The reality is this, People will hurt you all the time throughout your life, BUT it is completely up to US to decide how to handle the outcome!!

This Diva CHOSE to Focus on getting back UP and looking forward to the Future, MY Future, A new future that I want to build According to God's Plan for me. Relentlessly with a foot in front of the other, determined to get there. By acting this way I've come to realize that because my focus was set on my future instead of my past or whatever happened to me or how hurt I was..... Blah Blah Blah!!!
I Stopped being a Victim......I CONQUERED.... I became a Survivor and Now, I am Living AGAIN!!

All because of a Choice, A Power that all of us have and it is my CHALLENGE to you this MONTH to take an inventory of what's inside of you and see if there's a victim in there waiting to be rescued.

STOP the VICTIM...... CONQUER..... Be a SURVIVOR and DARE to LIVE each DAY.

This Diva is Off her Soap Box,

<3 Besos <3 ;-)